Still Saying Goodbye

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Written by Jenny Pavlovic

We lost our beloved dog Bandit to multiple myeloma in March. I had a beautiful pendant made with some of his ashes inside, and I wear it on a chain around my neck, or on a bracelet. I mentioned before that I had a hard time deciding where to release Bandit’s ashes, so I’ve been releasing smidgens of them in many of the places we had good times together. I had released some of his ashes up on our hill where we walk and play every day, and earlier in July I released some under the orange ‘Moose that Wouldn’t Move’ (http://www.8statekate.net/wordpress/?p=2778) and in my parents’ yard in Wisconsin where we used to play ball when we visited.

One Saturday morning in July I took some ashes along on errands. I released some at the Washington County Fairgrounds where Bandit and I spent many hours doing tracking training. Last summer Bandit and I often went there on Saturday mornings while Chase was resting at home (in Cay’s company) from a week of radiation therapy. I’m very grateful that Bandit and I had this time alone together, even while Chase required special care for his cancer treatments. As I released Bandit’s ashes there, a red-tailed hawk circled and called out. When I looked up I saw a rainbow sun dog, a colorful ring around the sun. I thought about the time Bandit and I had spent there together, not just tracking, but sitting on the tailgate under a large tree waiting for the tracks to age, enjoying the morning. And I realized that I still have many tears left, some that I let go of that morning.

It’s funny how life often turns out differently than you plan and expect. I thought all that time Bandit and I spent tracking would lead us to tracking and versatility titles, but really that time together was the gift in itself. The dedication and determination to spend that time together, driven by goals that we ran out of time to complete, gave us the gift of that time. The real purpose of it all was a surprise because I never thought I’d lose Bandit so soon. I’m left with these memories of precious time alone with Bandit, time we might not have had if I’d only been able to focus on taking care of Chase.

Later that Saturday morning in July, Chase and Cay and I went for a walk by the St. Croix River in our home town of Afton, Minnesota. I released more of Bandit’s ashes to the wind in this one more place where Bandit and I had shared good times. We had taken one of our last walks away from home there, when the river was iced over, long after Bandit had revealed that he could no longer track.

Then on the way home Chase and Cay and I stopped at Afton State Park in the St. Croix River Valley, up on the hill behind our house, where Bandit and I did much of our tracking training. There I released more ashes to the wind. While I was turning the truck around to head home, a spotted fawn cantered out from behind a tree. I was emotionally drained and hungry and wanted to go home, but I paused to watch and enjoy the moment. The fawn’s twin leapt out from behind the other side of the tree. They cavorted together for a moment right in front of the truck, then galloped off into the woods. What an amazing gift, something I might have missed before.

Bandit never fit into a box any better than I do. He led me to all of these places, taught me so many things on our remarkable journey together. Yes, I feel very sad missing Bandit. But I also feel thankful for the time we had together, because I know the deep well of sadness is directly related to how remarkable our bond and our love for each other were.

On a Sunday in July, we visited Bandit’s mama Sparkee at his birthplace near Lake City, Minnesota. Bandit’s formal name was ‘Hillhaven Bolt out of the Blue’, and Sparkee is the blue! Spark, still beautiful at age 15, has lost much of the function in her back end and may not be with us much longer. I gave her my love and thanked her for giving us such a special boy. I scattered some of Bandit’s ashes in a wildflower prairie on this farm where he was born, while Chase and Cay enjoyed running in the field.

How do I even know all the ways Bandit changed my life? How do I let go of a dog who so profoundly taught me things I needed to know? One thing I hope I never forget is that we only have this present moment and we’d best enjoy it. Yes, the lawn mower won’t start, the light switch isn’t working right, and things seem to go wrong all of the time. But we can still play ball and enjoy this beautiful day and not wait for everything to be perfect in order to be happy. Things are seldom going to be perfect, but if we enjoy this present moment, they might just feel perfect right now. Bandit would whack me on the leg with the rubber chicken, or poke me with the jolly ball, to remind me of this. He was always much wiser than I.

While in hindsight Bandit showed signs of being ill as early as February or March of 2013, his tests came back normal and he held it together until September. Sometimes I wonder how he ran tracks at all last summer, and I hope I didn’t work him too hard. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that he didn’t quit tracking until the September morning after Chase successfully completed his daily radiation therapy treatments. I think that Bandit held it together until he knew that Chase would survive colon cancer. Bandit knew that I couldn’t bear to lose both of them at the same time. He was that wise and intrepid, and I’m sure he took care of us in many ways that I’m not even aware of.

I’m still saying goodbye, while yet noticing the many ways Bandit stays with us as we make our way without his physical presence. I haven’t been able to track with the other dogs yet this year, even though I know they would enjoy it and benefit from it. Visiting the fields to release Bandit’s ashes is a step toward being able to function that way again. Maybe now I can think of it as going to the tracking fields to visit him and create new memories with Chase and Cay. We’ll see, as somehow we carry on.

The garden I built in Bandit’s memory is growing and blooming like crazy, a reminder that life goes on. Somehow we do too.

………….
At the end of June a friend emailed me about a senior red Australian Cattle Dog in jeopardy in Illinois. An unclaimed stray, he was running out of time and urgently needed rescue. Oh, what a tug at my heartstrings. This old guy, called ‘Pops’, reminded me so much of Bandit. His spirit seemed to bust right out of the photo. He was described as being very friendly. He gets along with other dogs and sounds like a very sweet old guy.

The folks at Homeward Bound Waggin’, Inc. in Quincy, Illinois (http://www.homewardboundwaggin.org/ and https://www.facebook.com/HomewardBoundWagginInc) were looking out for Pops and could pull him, get vet care, and transport him to Minnesota. I checked around for a rescue group to take him in. The Top Dog Foundation in Minnesota (http://www.topdogfoundation.org/), known to be a friend to older dogs, agreed to take him into one of their foster homes.

Once Pops arrived in Minnesota, he was found to have a broken or dislocated jaw. On July 23rd, he had surgery to repair his jaw and remove three painful teeth. Pops is reportedly doing well. You can follow his progress on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/TopDogFDN. If you’re interested in meeting and possibly adopting Pops, please contact the Top Dog Foundation. If you would like to donate toward his veterinary care, please go to http://www.razoo.com/story/Help-Pops-The-Cattle-Dog. Homeward Bound Waggin’ would appreciate your support too. If not for them, Pops probably wouldn’t still be here! Thank you!

Meaningful Work

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Written By Jenny Pavlovic

We all want to belong and feel useful. Most of us are happiest when we have meaningful work. Our dogs are descended from long lines of herders, retrievers, hunters, guard dogs, and other dogs who became companions to people because they did useful work. Nowadays, sleeping at home all day while the family is at school and work can leave a dog restless and bored. A dog needs plenty of exercise and a purpose in life. Of course our dogs are great companions, but when they don’t have the opportunity to do the jobs they were bred for, they can get into trouble, or even invent their own jobs.
Take Bandit, for instance. He comes from a long line of Australian Cattle Dogs, hard headed, smart, intense dogs who are used to taking charge and are not intimidated by a herd of cows. Bandit has had opportunities to herd cows, but we don’t have our own herd, so those opportunities don’t come often enough for him. Thus, Bandit carries one jolly ball while herding another one around the yard. He tries to herd me to the door when he wants me to go outside. He sometimes herds the other dogs, especially if he thinks they’re in my way and wants to clear the way for me. He barks at the deer that come to the bird feeder, wanting to control those hoofed animals. When I’ve been sitting at the computer for too long, he whacks me on the leg with the rubber chicken or drops a tennis ball in my lap. It’s time to take a break and play ball! I call Bandit my recreation director.
Chase has created some interesting jobs for himself. I think Chase is a mix of collie and cattle dog, two herding breeds. He has had the opportunity to work sheep and ducks, but not often enough. Herding dogs are especially alert to anything that is out of order because they’re used to watching over their flock. Chase likes to notify me when anything is different. He hears the garbage truck and snowplow coming long before I do and lets me know. He barks in a unique way when the feral cat is around. When we go outside, Chase patrols the perimeter as a collie will. He follows his nose, which tells him what other creatures have passed through. He spots birds way up in the sky and has alerted me to a bald eagle soaring high above. Chase is currently in training to become a therapy dog. I’ve felt for a long time that this is a calling for him and I’m finally giving him the chance to do it. We plan to volunteer at the library where kids can read to Chase, and we may also visit an eldercare home.
One job that Chase takes very seriously is one that I cannot figure out. He goes bonkers when I crack a hardboiled egg. I can crack a dozen raw eggs with no response, but when I get ready to crack a hardboiled egg, Chase springs up and barks like it’s the end of the world. He has even learned what it sounds like when I take a hardboiled egg out of the refrigerator. When I flip the lid of the fridge compartment he comes running, anticipating that I’ll soon crack a hardboiled egg, and prepares to go bonkers. The only reason for this that I can think of is that this cracking sound reminds Chase of something from his early life in an abusive home. But I just don’t know. He is very sensitive to different sounds.
Cay is more into play than work, but she has created a couple of jobs for herself. She loves to steal Chase’s favorite ball and scamper around the yard holding it just out of his reach. Since we only have one of these balls and Chase is quite serious about it, Cay enjoys the role of “bratty little sister”. The more Chase gets upset, the more she prances around with his ball, just out of reach. Having played the role of bratty little sister myself once, I tell Chase to pretend like he doesn’t care and the fun of the game will go away for Cay. But he goes into fits knowing that she has ‘his’ ball.
When we go up to play in the pen on the hill, the dogs often take balls with them. The result is that our backyard would be empty of balls to play with if we didn’t bring some back down the hill every day. Cay has figured this out. Each day when we turn to head back to the house, she runs around searching for a ball to bring back. She never comes back empty handed (or should I say empty mouthed?). I can’t remember when or how Cay chose this job for herself, but she takes it very seriously every day.
In the winter, at least one of the dogs jumps up on my bed before bedtime, warming it up for me. Sure, this is a perk for them, but it’s also a perk for me. I never have to feel cold sheets on a cold winter night. And I’m ready for a three dog night too.
Sometimes my dogs work as a team. When I offer a large yogurt carton to be licked out, Chase licks the inside rim around the top, Bandit licks around the middle, and Cay, with the longest, narrowest muzzle, licks out the bottom. When I think about it, I notice more and more jobs that my dogs have created for themselves. What jobs do your dogs help you with?
Of course, my dogs are great companions. Besides being my friends, one of the best jobs they have is leading me to new friends—through dog activities like obedience, agility, tracking and herding, and through their stories. Now that’s what I call meaningful work!
We recently reconnected with Cay’s brother Zander’s family when they read an Omega Fields article about her. I’m happy to hear that Cays’ brother is also getting the great nutrition provided by Omega Canine Shine® ground flaxseed supplement and Omega Nuggets™ flaxseed treats.
Wishing you and yours the benefits of great nutrition and a Happy Spring!

Bandit, My Bolt Out of the Blue, My Miracle

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Written By Jenny Pavlovic
The following is excerpted from the book, A Book of Miracles. Copyright © 2011 by Bernie Siegel.
Reprinted with permission from New World Library. www.NewWorldLibrary.com.
In January, I took my very old dog Rusty to the vet for the last time. Rusty had been a stray, found in a neighboring state. I had adopted him from the local animal shelter and we had been together for over seven years. Now his liver was failing and he was very ill and in pain. Sadly, it was time to let him go.
Once the vet gave the injection and Rusty peacefully passed on, I went back out to my truck for Rainbow. She was Rusty’s pal, a much younger and higher energy dog. I led Rainbow in to see Rusty, so she wouldn’t wonder what had happened to him, then took her back out to the truck.
Before driving home, I was compelled to go back in to the clinic to get Rainbow a chew toy. I knew she would be lonely as the only dog and would need something to keep her busy. Inside, a blue Australian Cattle Dog (ACD, a.k.a. blue heeler) was standing at the counter with an unfamiliar woman. I was surprised because I didn’t see cattle dogs often and hadn’t seen one at our vet clinic before. I asked the woman if it was okay to pet her dog. I told her that I had just lost my cattle dog mix a few minutes earlier. She encouraged me to pet the blue girl, Opal, and told me that she had a red puppy in her van. He was the last one of the litter and needed a new home. People on her waiting list had been looking for blues. I told her that I had another red heeler mix (Rainbow) in the truck and that we like the reds at our house!
I hadn’t even thought about where my next dog would come from. Rusty was very old, but had only recently shown signs of illness. The woman, Louanne, told me that while she was driving to the clinic, she’d been overcome by a peaceful feeling that the red puppy would soon find his new home. She offered to bring him over to meet me. At first I resisted, telling her I couldn’t make a decision on a new dog right away and that Rainbow was probably upset about Rusty passing on. I didn’t know how much more emotion my heart could take that day. But Louanne brought the red pup over. To my complete astonishment, he had Rusty’s double red mask and red ears (Louanne had not seen Rusty). He was a very nice, bold, playful puppy and I was taken with him right away. He and Rainbow got along from the beginning. I didn’t want to make an emotional decision, so I asked Louanne for references. Rainbow and I needed to grieve Rusty’s passing. I was exhausted and needed time to think. Louanne and I exchanged information and Rainbow and I went home. I kept thinking about that red puppy, feeling like he belonged with us. It was clear that Rainbow needed a playmate. I did my homework, contacted Louanne’s references, and two weeks later Bandit joined our family.
The amazing thing is that I had made an appointment for the vet to come to my home at the end of the day to put Rusty down. But Rusty was suddenly in so much pain that I didn’t want to make him wait, and drove him to the clinic. Louanne lived over an hour away and this was not her regular vet. She had been referred to my vet for Opal to have a special procedure, and had brought puppy Bandit along for the ride. If I hadn’t gone back in to get Rainbow a chew toy, Opal would not have caught my eye at the front counter, and I would not have met Louanne, or Bandit. I believe the sequence of events that brought Bandit to me were not a coincidence. In his pain, Rusty led me to the only red ACD puppy for miles. Bandit was Rusty’s gift to Rainbow and me, to help us heal from the pain of his loss. I think we experienced an everyday miracle and that Bandit was meant to be with us. My mom says that “God winked” that day.
Bandit’s formal name is Hillhaven Bolt Out of the Blue. With his puppy antics and his silly rubber chicken, he brought Rainbow and me back to life. He taught me that sometimes the best friends will find you when you least expect them to, and that paying attention to them is important. Jump on a good opportunity when you see it, because life is too short and you may not get the chance again. Bandit has been a wonderful companion, a perfect fit with my personality who has taught me so much about life. He is my bolt out of the blue, my everyday miracle, and my link back to Rusty.
A limited number of personally signed copies of A Book of Miracles (hard cover), the Not Without My Dog Resource & Record Book (hard cover and paperback), and 8 State Hurricane Kate: The Journey & Legacy of a Katrina Cattle Dog (paperback) are available for purchase. Please contact me directly at jenny@8StateKate.net with BOOK REQUEST in the subject line. Find more information at www.8StateKate.net.